Member Responsibilities and Forum Tips Options

[Admin]

MEMBER RESPONSIBILITIES

Respect the forum rules. They are standard for most Internet groups like this. Please report posts that ignore or violate the rules in any way by clicking the !Report at the bottom of the post.

Search before you post. If you have a specific question, please search the forum for posts that may cover the issue before you start a new thread about it. Many of the posts people are making ask questions that have already been discussed over and over already. Or there may already be a thread discussing a particular issue. If you are looking for something specific, the information you need is probably already there or at the main site.

Use the libraries. Besides the support areas, we have a library of articles, book recommendations, videos, and radio shows all focusing on topics covered in the forum. There is also a mountain of information at the support areas of the forum including databases of recovery articles and exercises. Please show the initiative to utilize this extensive library to aid in your understanding of what you are going through and what you can do about it all.

Know the difference between support and validation. Support and validation are two different things, but many people are joining the group saying they want support when they really want validation. Validation is someone telling you everything you are doing and perceiving is correct. Someone who supports you is out for your best interests and they won't necessarily tell you what you want to hear. They are concerned for your safety and integrity, above your ego. You won't always be validated at the forum, but you will always be supported.

Give back. Don't just register, post all about yourself, then quit when you've gotten what you need. If others have reached out to support you, give back by offering to support them, too. If your situation has come to a resolve, or wound down, keep checking back in to let others know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You heal the most when you reach out to help others.

Be sure and check the Announcements forum regularly. (It's at the top of the site.) Often the information posted there pertains to SHS or the support forum.

Group Confidentiality

Please respect group confidentiality and do not publicly discuss information about other members. We also invoke copyright law to protect the confidentiality of the group. SHS owns the copyright to all original material published here. Printing, dissemination, or deleting of the material in the closed areas of the group can only be done with the written permission of the SHS owner.


TIPS

Logging into the forum:

* You can browse the forum anonymously. Use the "Log Me In" page, and after entering your username and password, click ""Log in as invisible."
* AOL users: the AOL browser can have compatibility issues with the board software, and because of this, some forum members have not been able to log in. When logging into the forum, please use another browser, such as Internet Explorer, Firefox, or Netscape

Use good writing skills when composing a post. Use appropriate grammar, punctuation, and paragraphing. We've had people write very long, rambling posts, comprised of single paragraphs that are pretty unreadable. We know it's difficult to think about "good writing" when you are stressed out. But the group members can't give you any support or feedback if they can't read what you share.

Use emoticons to help get your message across. Internet communications don't have the benefit of body language or facial expressions to help convey the message. Because of this, misunderstandings can abound. For example, if you are teasing someone in a post, the person will not see the smile or twinkle-in-your-eye and may take you seriously and be offended. Using emoticons will help get your message across exactly as you mean it to come across.

Don't be afraid to send people personal messages: While fairly steady, the forum can get a little slow sometimes, particularly around holidays. If the forum has gone quiet and you need to connect with someone, don't be afraid to send a member a personal message, even if you haven't posted to them before. In particular, if you are new, and have joined during a "lull," send a personal message to someone who has posted, and whose situation you particularly identify with. Let them know you would like to communicate with them.

Personal message notification: To get an email notification that you have received a personal message at the forum, go to your control panel, and click on "Email Settings." Then check the appropriate box. This is helpful if you don't log in frequently at the forum to check your messages.

You can subscribe to different forums and topics so that you can be notified by email when there are new posts. (Good for tracking your favorite support area or replies to your own posts.)

Click on the forum or topic you want to subscribe to, then click on "Options," and select "Subscribe to this forum," or "Track this topic." Next, select either "immediate notification," "daily digest," or "weekly digest" you will be emailed when there are new posts.

Tutorials. There are graphic tutorials on how to use the most basic areas of the forum. See Tutorials down in Other Stuff at the bottom of the site. Also, the Help files provide information on how to use most of the bells and whistles here.